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In the immediate aftermath of September 11, 2001, a majority of American citizens reacted to the attacks, each exhibiting the extremes of his or her personal bend. Some turned rabid, others introspective, while the rest curled into a frightened ball from which they have yet to fully unfurl. The degree of damage to our nation from the unrelieved stress invoked on that day has yet to be adequately measured, but remains evident in our reactions to daily mundane events.
An example occurred on LinkedIn, a business-oriented online social networking site, just the other day. A member posted a note on the Tri-State NY Football Giants Network that the regular season game between the New York Jets and New York Giants was scheduled to be played on Sunday, September 11th. It turns out he was incorrect, but at the tail end of the reply stream came this note:
“There should be NO football on this day - Sorry, but this is a day to honor the dead - not play a game”
The telling reaction to what I considered a somewhat overblown response was the lack of one on the part of any of the other group members. It is a fact that the Wall Street community, well-represented on this members-only themed board, was struck particularly hard that unforgettable morning. Many New Yorkers hold some connection to a victim – for me, it was a woman who had grown up right next door, trapped inside Windows on the World while covering for a colleague. This tragedy is unique for the breadth of its effect. Nearly the entire census of the most-populated region in the country underwent some manner of deeply-felt loss, the nagging proof of it obvious to this day. However, the silence following such a forceful statement, written ten years later, seems a statement in itself, a funereal pause before the quiet exit.
Direct address of this matter requires qualification and I have it, to some small degree. On that morning ten years ago, I was aboard a Southwest Airlines flight, originating from Islip MacArthur Airport on Long Island and scheduled to land at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, with a couple of stops along the way. The events on the ground unfolded as if those on board lay asleep, entombed in aluminum and held inaccessible to any bit of stray news.
As we debarked at Lambert - Saint Louis International (forced to touch down “at the request of the FAA” and a couple of Air National Guard Hornets), a flight attendant prepared us for the shock, sketching a brief outline (perhaps all that she actually knew at the time) of the new world that awaited. The full impact of it didn’t hit home until we watched a replay of the North Tower collapsing on the TV monitors placed behind and above the makeshift emergency customer assistance desk. A woman next to me gasped, swallowing a fear-filled sob. I stood stunned at the picture of devastation and spent the next three days in my room at the St Louis Marriott, a captive audience to unending broadcasts of the attack from every available angle, waiting in vain for Norman Mineta to lift the No-Fly order. Still, my fellow passengers and I were spared the horror of actually living through those uncertain hours, our ignorance of it a blessing in retrospect. My psychic scars were superficial and healed quickly, with barely a mark showing.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the majority of those who bore witness as the morning unfolded. It is as if the impulses generated during those moments are set in concrete memory and forever fixed – fear, rage, confusion – all conspiring against the inherent logic and better nature of their former selves. Some march forth with an adrenaline-fueled viciousness aimed at whoever it is they hold responsible. Others live without any spark whatsoever, stalled by the knowledge of a helpless existence. For most, the consistent trait is a world-weary form of cautious apathy; a characteristic once limited to elder statesmen and deathbed inhabitants.
It is time to shake off the hold that this memory exerts, in an invidious fashion, upon our daily lives. Our nation is suffering from its effect; our children, as well. There are not enough clinical psychologists to aid in the recovery, most of whom are victims themselves. You must look in the mirror and try to see what I see. After ten years, carrying the weight of the Twin Towers places an unreasonable burden on us all.
